When all my energy is drained and the worst life calamity get the best of me.. Having lost my sight and I barely see an inch ahead of my foot. With counselor's unfortunate tendency that, "all will go well." To me it's always a lie. How I wish their mouth spoke what the heart meant.When the days of my youth started to run faster than usual and I feel my nerve aches, my eyes brows raises, my joints become feeble and abruptly stops to move. With friends beside me and different kinds of foodstuffs to feast on. It wouldn't have change a thing when I know as clear as a day that not a thing will change my condition. All I need is to feel that I am living and doing it well.
When time seems to be running fast, my happier moments seems to be turning their backs on me and family tend to go the same directions. Anyway I don't think I needed them then.
When the ground became shaky as I tread through bushy paths, since I don't want to fall, I cling to leaves and some tall grasses that come my way as if those can change a thing.
I beg to go back to up country and burst on the sun, smile as I count the birds of the air because that's when I last saw happiness, the memories are clearer than ever despite the fact that am going sane, so to say. I wake up in the middle of the night with a real spinning head.. I whisper to myself, "Am going"
All I wanted was just to stay home with my Dad, tell him all the funny stories I have as I listen to his as well, both laugh to those small jokes. Since I don't want his ageing days to find him alone, as plainly as that!
I needed these, 28 days ago, I needed to go and never return as if coming back was suicidal. To be somewhere quiet, still and dark, to hide in the reeds from everyone who approaches and then reappears before continuing with my journey.
Until then, I realized am not yet there, in fact am far from it and all I was certain of was my present day, present hour and most honestly this precious time that I get to update this blog, which has been in silent for a while.
If there's none to push you up, do it yourself.
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